What Publisher Rejection Letters Really Mean

Thanks to The Guardian, the Twitterverse engaged in a hashtag fest not too long ago (#publishingeuphemisms) to get to the bottom, in a semi-humorous way, of the real meaning of phrases that publishers use when rejecting or recommending authors. I say "semi-humorous," because — while funny — they also sting a bit to those of us on the receiving end. Here are some of the most clever contributions:

• "Just a couple of tiny changes needed." =  I'm about to send you 27 pages of edits.

• "I hate the cover too, but my hands are tied." = The publisher's niece did it.

• "This is too British for the American market." = I have no idea what this is about.

• "It's a new classic." = Same as an old classic but the names are changed and it probably has vampires.

• "Literary-commercial cross-over." = Has a plot but not too many adverbs.

• "The author is highly promotable." = The author is smoking hot.

• "Sorry but our list is currently closed" = We are too busy chasing celebrity deals to bother with hoi-polloi.

• "The novel never quite reached the huge potential of its promise." =Your pitch letter was better than the book.

• "Fast-paced page turner." = Lots of one line paragraphs and short chapters.